Funny Merry Christmas Wishes

During Christmas, happiness takes over like the snows in the winter. It’s a season to celebrate like never before. And nothing better than a funny Christmas wish can get you in the mood for a celebration. These funny Christmas wishes will help you share the fun of Christmas all around. These are some of the funniest Christmas wishes to make your loved one smile. So, don’t hesitate to add some witty humor to your Christmas texts and send them to your friends and loved ones. Here are some hilarious and funny Christmas wishes and greetings that you might be looking for this Christmas. 

 

1. "Don we now our ugly sweaters… Let's party! Happy Holidays!"

2. "Christmas is the only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks. Enjoy!"

3. "Wishing you a white Christmas! (And when you run out of white, just open a bottle of red)."

4. “You’re a gift in my life. And not the kind I’d return for store credit. Merry Christmas!”

5. "A Christmas reminder: Don’t try to borrow any money from elves ... they're always a little short! Have a Merry Christmas!"

6. "Wishing you hope, peace and lots of Christmas cookies this holiday season!"

7. "They say the best Christmas gifts come from the heart … but cash and gift cards do wonders too! Happy Holidays!"

8. “Remember, Santa is watching. Everything. Yes, even that. Anyway, Merry Christmas!”

9. “Merry Christmas! May your happiness be large and your bills be small.”

10. “This holiday season, let’s make it a point to cherish what’s truly important in our lives: cookies.”

11. “I told Santa you were good this year and sent him a link to your Pinterest board. Merry Christmas to you!”

12. “This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included.”

13. "Merry Christmas! I put so much thought into your gift that now it's too late to get it."

14. "Please note: Christmas is canceled. Apparently, you told Santa you have been good this year … he died laughing."

15. "Is it just me, or does Santa look younger every year?"

16. "Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too, until the credit card bills arrive."

17. "Eat. Drink. Be Merry. Have a wonderful Christmas!"

18. Christmas: The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.

19. "One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present."

20. Don't think of it as me bribing you, think of it as spreading Christmas cheer!

21. "The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus."

22. Congratulations on finally making it to stage 3! Merry Christmas ol' man.

23. "It's all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list."

24. Let's hope he wasn't paying close attention to us this year! Thanks for being such a great friend, it's been fun spending time with you this year. Here's to a fabulous 2023!

25. Lessons from a Christmas Tree:
    "Be a light in the darkness.
    We all fall over sometimes.
    You can never wear too much glitter.
    Bring joy to others.
    Sparkle and twinkle as often as possible.
    It's okay to be a little tilted".
    ~ Jane Lee Logan

26. "You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
~ Maya Angelou

27. However tangled the lights are this year, I know you'll handle it with aplomb. Merry Christmas!

 

28. One sure sign that you're getting older is how Santa seems to look younger each year. Cheers to another year of holiday fun!

29. May your eggnog be spiked with plenty of rum to get you through this holiday season. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

30. You're a lot like some of my Christmas tree ornaments. Bright, colorful. and a little bit cracked!

31. "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the White runs out I'll drink the Red!"

32. Looking forward to celebrating with you over the Holiday season. Cheers to a fabulous 2023!

33. "Time to get into the holiday spirit... gin, vodka, whiskey..."

34. Looking forward to celebrating with you over the holidays. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year!

35. Don we now our ugly sweaters... Let's party! Merry Christmas!

36. I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you. Merry Christmas!

37. "Three Wise WOMEN would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, bought practical gifts, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and there would be peace on earth!"

38. To my very wise and amazing [wife/mother], what would we do without you? With all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, negotiating, cuddles, and stories, you take care of us and keep our family happy and healthy. Merry Christmas, we love you!

39. Please note: Christmas is canceled! Apparently YOU told Santa that you've been GOOD this year... he died laughing!

40. Because I definitely won’t be organized enough to send any cards in the new year: happy holidays. There. That should cover everything from now until Easter.

41. The true gift of Christmas is the time we spend together. That’s why I didn’t get you anything else.

42. I ho-ho-hope you have a great Christmas!

43. Here’s hoping you survive the holiday season with your sanity and bank account intact. Merry Christmas.

44. Since I’m pretty sure you’re not getting anything from Santa this year, I thought I’d send you this card so you’d have something to open.

45. Just to show I care, I went to a real post office and bought real stamps to send you something old-fashioned: real mail.

46. Marjorie Holmes once said, “At Christmas, all roads lead home.” I wonder how much Mom paid her to say that.

47. May there be plenty of laughs and minimal cleanup in your home during the holidays. Enjoy!

48. You may not be on Santa’s nice list, but you’re sure on mine!

49. At this time of year, we’re so often reminded of what’s truly important: mom’s cooking.

50. Here’s hoping Yule have the best Christmas ever this year!

51. Merry Christmas! May your happiness be large and your bills be small.

52. Christmas, where the sweaters are ugly, but the spirit is beautiful. Happy holidays!

53. Hope you have a fa-la-la-la-la-la-bulous Christmas.

54. We’re going to have an elfin’ good time this Christmas. Happy holidays!

55. I saw your name on Santa’s naughty list, but don’t worry—I swapped it over to the nice list. You owe me for getting that past St. Nick.

56. Oh, I’m filled with the Christmas spirit alright—I’ve been sipping on it since 10 a.m. Cheers!

57. I see you needed a star topper for your tree. Feel free to tape up a picture of a true star: me. Merry Christmas!

58. Hope you have a lovely holiday—don’t let the reindeer suck you into their games. Trust me, you won’t win.

59. The older I get, the more I understand why the Grinch wanted to spend the day alone with his dog. But hey, I’m happy to make my way down Mount Crumpit for you. Merry Christmas!

60. They’ll let anyone on the nice list these days, huh? Have a great holiday—and tell me how you managed to swing that one.

61. Don’t tell Santa, but I already ate all the Christmas cookies. Hope he doesn’t send the elves for me. Wishing you a Merry Christmas now though, just in case …

62. Red truly is the color of the season: Santa’s suit, Rudolph’s nose, my face after seeing my credit card bill. May your holiday spirit be lifted—and your credit line be increased!

63. Don’t forget: The Elf on the Shelf is always watching. Hope you’re being good this Christmas!

64. Remember: Count the blessings, not the calories. Have a bountiful Christmas!

65. I hope your smiles will be as big as your Christmas credit card bill! Wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!

66. This is the time of the year to feel special and cared for because when it ends, nobody cares if you exist or not. Merry Christmas!

67. Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic; Merry Christmas!

68. The only message I want to give you this Christmas is not to drink too much because I will not be there to carry you home! Merry Christmas to you all!

69. I hope Santa fills our socks with cash instead of gifts and toys. I know you hope for the same. Wish you a happy Christmas!

70. Christmas is all about spending time with good people. So makes sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow. Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

 

71. May your Christmas be as fat, happy, and plentiful as Santa’s! Merry Christmas!

72. Your sweet Christmas wishes really touched my heart. Now sending some gifts would please my eyes too! I will be waiting!

73. Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!

74. Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!

75. Remember to smile and enjoy your time. Because when Christmas is over, nobody will care whether you exist or not!

76. I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas; it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!

77. I hope Santa doesn’t find all the faults you have been keeping under the blanket. Merry Christmas, dear.

78. This Christmas is all about feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely forget you’re a loser!

79. Just wanted you to know that you have literally no chance of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. Merry Christmas to you!

80. Some people have a great year in life and some years have bad people in them. Are you feeling sorry yet? Just kidding. May your Christmas be full of fun!

81. I prayed that Santa would give you wings this Christmas so you can fly and disappear from the earth forever. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!

82. You know your life sucks when you have to wait the entire year for Santa to bring you some presents because apparently, no one care to give you a present.

83. May you survive the priest’s boring speech in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible. Merry Christmas!

Funny Replies To Merry Christmas

1. The reason why everyone makes wishes every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!

2. I hope your celebration will be big and your bill will be small this Christmas. Have a joyful Christmas!

3. As you all prepare to send me Christmas wishes one by one, let me remind you all that sending cash money can be an alternative too!

4. To all my friends, Merry Christmas and congratulations again for not ending up on Santa’s good list.

Funny Christmas Messages

1. Christmas is not only for praying and praising. But for drinking and messing around also. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2. Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!

3. Yours was the most wonderful Christmas greeting of all. However, you are the one who should be filling my socks at Christmas, not my inbox!

4. A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, and a kiss is not a kiss unless it’s with tongues. So open your mouth, close your eyes, and give your tongue some exercise! Merry Christmas!

5. The best Christmas gifts are those given from the heart. On the other hand, cash and gift cards are effective too! Merry Christmas!

6. Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!

7. Santa was looking at a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her body for a long time. Santa asked what are you doing and she answered: Waiting for autumn.

8. There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

9. I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts. Have a fun Christmas!

10. Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poisonous cookies you just ate. Thank you.

11. Is Santa so busy that he cannot find time to groom himself? I think he needs to shave his beard.

 

12. Everyone knows the most important part of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you don’t get to see very often. Then you have an excuse to neglect them for the rest of the year.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Him

1. So flippin’ excited to spend this Christmas with you. Can’t wait to make some funny moments with you.

2. I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!

3. Santa has already given me what I have wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!

4. Sending your way a bundle of warm wishes and good luck on this holiday. Take my love and don’t forget to bring presents for me tonight. Merry Christmas!

5. Lob a snowball at me, and I’ll declare war. Let’s make this one the best Christmas for us together! Merry Christmas to you!

6. I Wish Santa fill your socks with candy and your wallet with money. Have a nice and warm holiday season my love! Merry Christmas to you!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Her

1. Santa asked me what my heart wanted this Christmas! I told him your name, and he said you’re already in my heart! Merry Christmas!

2. If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!

3. You’re too young to go to clubs with friends. Pray for gifts from Santa or let’s go on a date this Christmas. Merry Christmas Cutipie!

 

4. Enjoy your holiday and feel the magic of Christmas this year. Witness how money disappears and how I lose my sanity. Merry Christmas!

5. Wishing for a fat bearded guy to visit me at night is not cool. I’d rather wish it was you in a red gown. Merry Christmas!

6. I have no money to spend for you on this Christmas but know that I always have time to spend with you this Christmas! I love you!

7. Everything grows old, except for You and Santa. Merry Christmas, my love. Sending warm wishes on your way this Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends

1. I just wanted to let you know that you will be on Santa’s naughty list this year. Merry Christmas!

2. Stop asking for presents from Santa and be the Santa for the kids around you. Suits your age. Merry Christmas!

3. Santa told me you are on the good list this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Just kidding! Have a wonderful Christmas!

4. Wishing you a white Christmas this year. If you run out of the white one, remember I have plenty of supply for the red one. Merry Christmas dear friend!

5. Congratulations on making it to the top five of Santa’s naughty list once again. You are truly a gem of a friend!

6. May your Christmas be filled with large smiles and festivities, but not with a big belly. Merry Christmas!

7. You’re now at a stage of your life when you really need to ask yourself if you believe in Santa or not! Grow up, man. Merry Christmas!

8. Good luck with wishing people unrealistic things from someone who doesn’t even exist. Have a great Christmas this year!

9. I’ve just received the bad news. Santa had a heart attack. Cause of death was your name on the good list of this year!

10. Christmas is the only time when eating candy out of socks is cool! Good luck with your smelly socks and expired candies. Merry Christmas!

11. May you make it through the priest’s dull speech and join us at the party soon. Have an incredible Christmas!

 

12. I’ll declare war if you throw a snowball at me. Let’s make this the happiest Christmas we’ve ever had! Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Wife

1. The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!

2. I wrapped your Christmas gift in “Happy Birthday” paper by accident. Then I added “to Jesus” to it. Merry Christmas, wifey!

3. Isn’t Christmas meant to be a time for remembering family and guessing everyone’s sizes? Merry Christmas!

4. The season has finally come for every husband in the world to go broke from being rich finally. Merry Christmas to all the beautiful wives out there.

5. As I kept an eye on you throughout the year, you have been a good girl. Have a magical Christmas, wifey!

6. Christmas may well be a season to celebrate for you, but for me, it means trying my ass off to save every single penny I earned this year and make it through to the next year.

Funny Christmas Wishes For Husband

1. May all your savings doesn’t get spent on Christmas presents but do find me a good deal. Love you, dear husband.

2. Santa said you’ve been a great one this year. So, he will be giving you free vouchers to clean the house and find random things. Best of luck, hubby.

3. You’ve been very good this year, but still not good enough for making it to Santa’s good list! Merry Christmas!

4. Happy Birthday to Jesus and I can already hear you screaming for receiving your treasure gift box from me. Love you, too.

5. Merry Christmas, the love of my life. After all our fancy Christmas dinners, I enjoy the fact that I am not the only one washing the dishes. Love you.

 

6. Our plans for Christmas: Let’s have all the fun of our life and then we’ll both be praying until our credit bills arrive to rip us off. Happy Xmas!

7. I wished to be surrounded by good people, not the ones that spoil my mood. But Santa told me that offer was not for married people.

8. All I want for Christmas is YOU, but as I have already got you, thanks in advance for the hot chocolate on Christmas eve. Merry Christmas, husband dearest.

Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend

1. Having you by my side this Christmas means everything extra. Extra food, extra admiration, extra bills- everything. Love you anyway, love.

2. You don’t need Santa to get special presents while you have me in life. I am your all-year-long Santa. Be grateful, woman. Love you.

3. Christmas has been postponed because I did not receive my late-night kiss. So, if you want to celebrate Christmas, you have to hug me as a penalty. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Messages for Lover

1. I pray to Lord for your Christmas to be special. Just like your special pie. Dying to taste that in this holiday season.

2. Hope you won’t mess around much this Christmas and do extreme sports. Love you, my ladybug. Please don’t drink and pass out. Thanks.

3. I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!

4. I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!

5. May your Christmas be spent eating candies and cakes as long as you don’t forget brushing your teeth. Wishing you a Merry Xmas!

 

6. Dear girlfriend, hope you won’t have to act fake surprised by receiving my gift this year. May you have a wonderful year ahead.

Funny Christmas Wishes For Boyfriend

1. Christmas is the time to be with good people. So make a plan to spend the whole Christmas with me. Merry Christmas, love!

2. I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I’d also like a new credit card! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

3. Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search for your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!

4. Nowadays, you look like Santa with a big tummy and long beard. Guess what, you are going to the gym next year! Happy Holidays!

5. From the bottom of my heart, all I want this Christmas is you, and all the gifts and candies from you are nothing but a sign of your love for me.

6. Take my Christmas love and remember to bring me gifts. Merry Christmas!

7. Merry Christmas, dear! May Santa bring you winning lottery tickets in your socks!

8. Every time I see you, I think of Santa. You have so many things in common with that big, fat, silly guy except that long-white beard. Merry Christmas dear!

9. The only rule for you to follow this Christmas; don’t drink too much if I’m not there to carry you home! Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Messages For Colleagues

1. Dear colleague, hope you will stop thinking about work this holiday season and actually enjoy it and let us enjoy it. Joking, Merry Christmas.

2. Wishing you a white Christmas where you will forget about everything and let the snow wash away all your workloads.

3. As Santa is planning to fill your socks with gifts, we are planning to fill your pockets with cash. Enjoy Christmas with your loved ones and come back to the office with double dedication!

4. Wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hope the upcoming year you won’t stop giving me har time in the office. JOKING. God bless.

5. Merry Christmas, dear. Even though we didn’t play secret Santa this year, we would have given you a clock intending to arrive earlier in the office.

6. May this Christmas be really busy for you as the rest of the year was kinda blah. Have a tremendous time. Lots of love.

7. Hope you get to drink a lot and feast well in the holiday season. Lose yourself and have a bit more fun. Merry Christmas, my dear coworker.

Funny Christmas Greetings For Brother / Sister

1. Merry Christmas bro. This year, let’s kidnap Santa and steal all his gifts. We are never going to end up on his good list anyway!

2. Merry Christmas to the one who spells Christmas as Xmas and somehow still believes Santa fills his socks every Christmas night!

 

3. Ever wonder why Santa does not fill your socks anymore? Because you are not a kid anymore! Grow Up!

4. You and Santa are similar in many ways. Both are fat, wear red and are relevant for just a day in a year! 25th December!

5. This Christmas, buy yourself some gifts, because nobody cares and even Santa doesn’t know that you exist.

Funny Christmas Greetings

1. I know you are grouchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!

2. It’s hard to smile when your wallet runs out of cash but still, Merry Christmas and good luck on fulfilling the wishes of you kids!

3. It’s time to enjoy the holiday, spend some real cash, and realize in the end that money is everything that we ever wanted from Santa.

4. Please allow Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas; if he sees you there, he may not. So come here and have a party with me; Merry Christmas to you!

5. Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!

6. I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas!

7. I think Santa must ride a plane instead of a sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.

8. Anyone who believes that men are equal to women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

9. You are allowed to have an awesome Christmas as long as I have my presents waiting at my doorstep. Have a great time!

Funny Christmas Captions

1. Santa Clause exists, and he has to work during the holidays. How pathetic!

2. May your Christmas be as extravagant as the costumes on Santa this year. #MerryChristmas

3. Brace yourself for the biggest surprise of the year; the magical disappearance of your yearly savings!

4. Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included.”

5. Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. So let us drink the spirit to feel love; Merry Christmas too!

6. Do not spend all of your savings in one day over this lovely holiday. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Quotes

1. “Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan

2. “Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening

3. “You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.” – Haven Gillespie

4. “Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller

5. “Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White

6. “Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller

7. “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar

8. “Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul

9. “Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde

10. “What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis

11. “Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle Goodrich

 

12. “Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

13. “One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney

14. “Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie

15. “From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn

16. “Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.” – Sean Hughes

Christmas is much more than just decorating trees, having fun with friends, and stuffing ourselves with Christmas delicacies. It is about spreading the same happiness and joy that we feel within ourselves. Without Christmas wishes, the fun of Christmas is incomplete. Funny Christmas wishes are the best Christmas greeting ideas for making your loved one laugh. So, send funny Christmas wishes, texts, and quotes to your friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife and give them a reason to laugh. Christmas is a wonderful occasion to send funny wishes and messages. Don’t waste your chance to bring a smile to your loved one’s faces by wishing them with some witty Christmas humor of yours. If you want, you can also use these messages as funny Christmas greetings card messages. These wonderfully crafted funny Christmas wishes will definitely make your Christmas holiday card stand out.